RECOVERY

            Everybody faces hardship at some point in their lives.  However, not everybody has to face it for their entire life.  My own troubles came after I graduated from UC Berkeley.  My health suffered inexorably.  I reached a point where I could barely help myself – let alone ask others for assistance.

            My mind revolted.  I couldn’t concentrate and I lacked focus.  Extraneous thoughts crowded my awareness.  I became depressed and emotionally imploded.  I sought medication.  The side effects added to my inner turmoil.  Sleepiness and grogginess pervaded everything.  I struggled just to walk from my room to the kitchen.  I had reached the very bottom of pain and difficulty. 

            Fortunately, I ultimately managed to reach an equilibrium that enabled me to work as a special education teacher.  From breathing exercise to physical fitness, I slowly worked to recuperate. I tried being patient with the pain and took the small steps initially and greater steps later to build on my goal oriented healing:  Think of something positive; go out with friends and feel connected; listen to family and their suggestions. I motivated myself to spend introspective time at the beach, park, or coffee shop.  The healing took time and reaching normalcy was very hard work.  Eventually, the sheer force of diligence and practice from weeks to months allowed me to reclaim my life and rather being hampered by my health I now could live with it even surpass it a little.

            Although I had acclimated towards normal daily living, I still stumbled from time to time.  I would work for a few months; then lose my job.  I also began smoking cigarettes on and off.  I’d do well; then not so well.  A pattern developed where having a job and my own place would collapse into needing to live with family and re-establishing my life and what I could do independently.  I personally felt I did all I could to heal.  I ultimately would need to live into one last push to achieve an even higher livelihood unhampered by illness that constantly threatened to haunt and derail me.

            My mom began practicing cultivation.  I took from her example and faced my problems not only at the symptoms but also at its causes.  I developed a regimen that I continue to this day which includes:  daily meditation; processing and working through the past – mistakes or otherwise; live a daily routine that anchors stability; and develop a self perception and worth one can claim worthwhile as well as beneficial to the greater good.  I have been doing this every day for the past three years.  I have reached a level of clarity and well being presently that I feel is no longer about being ill but is about living well.

            In conclusion, I cannot stress enough how one must practice daily to achieve a level of health that becomes transcendent and actualized.  I am glad I could share my experience with you and hope it encourages you to persevere.  The next day always becomes better once it arrives – seize it; work thought it;  and live in it to greater and higher levels of feeling and understanding.  Good Luck!